Be Brave With Your Life

I look back to check if the trail I left behind somehow still leads to where I came from. I make sure not to confuse them with someone else's. I then continue moving forward, trying to chase light.

It's a vital practice, I believe, especially for those who've been lost countless times, but have somehow managed to create a home wherever they ended up finding themselves in.

Right now, looking at where I'm standing, with feet firm to the ground, something tells me I've been feeling my way to the right direction all along. "My dear", 
I convince myself, "there is really nothing to be scared of."  
I could no longer count how many times I've told myself, 
"You are strong, Jen". And every time, I believe.
I guess I have no choice but to be. Anyway, this should be fun :)

New Year has this funny, ritualistic nature. I've picked out 23 photos as part of my personal ceremony in tracing the constellation of events that somehow form an image of my 2014.  

Deciding to develop a set of habits and workflow to eliminate "not having enough time" as an excuse for not doing things I've always wanted to do.

Being given the chance to present/showcase our documentary at the Visual Documentary Festival in Kyoto University. 

And finding greater honor in being given the trust and the chance to share a story about the Agta-Dumagat-Remontados indigenous group of General Nakar, Quezon.

That surreal feeling of being in another country and experiencing a whole new landscape and culture. Also, realizing that gloves, scarves, and thermal wear exist for a very good reason. (Kyoto, Japan, March 2014)

Having a place to call home and experiencing it in different ways every time. (Batangas, Philippines)

Developing several personal projects such as this on-going series, Kwentong Barbero, which I started in 2013. I realized how important it is to grant yourself the time to follow your curiosity and to understand your own madness. 

Working with people I never thought I would for projects I never expected to have. It's interesting for me to see how the people I get to photograph/film are so different yet so alike with each other. And somehow, I find myself looking for a piece of me in them as well. 
(Shoot for Lifetime Asia with Anne Curtis, pardon this shot HAHA)

Learning how much effort (and money) is involved in making a show. Although I love what I do and I have so much respect for the people I get to work with, at a tangent truth, I also wish that the same amount of effort, regard, and funds should be invested in improving public transportation, education, proper land and capital allocation to farmers, cultural preservation, research, and so on. (So many feelings on this one, haha)

Finding greater appreciation for those who go unnoticed, especially those who work hard behind the cam. 

Learning a place through its people and somehow ending up also learning more about family. It is nice to have several places you could call home. 

Being given the chance to spend time by the sea

and to hike more mountains

with people I really care about.

Earning enough wisdom to accept irony and the value of not taking everything, especially oneself, seriously. 
I've always told a friend that sometimes it takes more strength to laugh. 

Being humbled by challenges and finding stillness in heart and in mind. 
Being faced with contradictions, yet embracing it as fact in this ever-expanding universe. 

These are the things I learned from being near the sea and being up in the mountains. I've always believed that if we formed this intimate relationship with nature as our ancestors have, we might have a chance of receiving some of its wisdom. 

Reflecting and remembering the things we used to know- as we have this tendency to learn, forget, and re-learn.

 Moving and being moved

Meeting new people and being with family and good friends. Being present at the times we are physically (and even virtually) with them. 
Relationships, I've come to know, are what make living a total experience.

At the end of the day (or in this case, year), no matter how much you've hunched to carry the weight on your back, you've given all the strength that's left in you to straighten your spine. 

When you're finally propped up, 
tell me, 
how much light have you shone 
and how much have you grown?