I remember the times my dad and I would watch travel shows, admiring Ian Wright, Denise Keller, Asha Gill when I was young. We didn't have enough money to travel so it was only through collated images and stories from shows, books, and magazines that I had a glimpse of this wide, wild world.
I remember my dad telling me, "Jen, someday you, too, will travel extensively. And someday, you'll get to make your own shows too." His words felt weightless and heavy at the same time. I practically had no idea how that would ever happen, but that moment was frozen and kept safe in a little box in my head. It would play on loop, someday.
Forward, we roll- to the present. I am now packing my things like a mad man, preparing my shot lists, reviewing the route, semi-panicking... I should be asleep by now. We'll start shooting Day 1 of History Channel's Ride N' Seek: Season 4 in a few hours. But I can't help but pause for a while and make time to be really and genuinely grateful.
Never in my wildest dreams have I ever imagined doing this. But the world is kind, and it has its weird ways. When I was in college, I was shit-scared of directing. I've always thought I'd tread a different path, away from production. But somewhere between then and now, an overwhelming string of events has led me to this moment.
Have you ever been obsessed with the things you're scared of? My fears and dreams have formed this interesting relationship where they've decided that they simply can't live without each other. And I know that I can never forgive myself for not doing something just because I'm scared. It should never be an excuse.
So nevermind if my knees are trembling or if my stomach feels like there's a thunderstorm brewing, when I remember my dad telling me "Jen, someday...", I swallow my fears and inhibitions so I could tell him that "someday" has arrived. Thank you for always believing.
**This quick photo diary is a compilation of photos I took last year during our shoot for Ride N' Seek, Season 3. We traveled from Puerto Galera all the way North to Kalinga to meet Apo Fang-Od. Traveling while shooting for a month is a completely different way of learning and re-learning about our roots. This experience is irreplaceable.
